The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
by Loveless-slave
Summary: Matt gives Mello an ultimatum but Mello's willing to change. Birthday fic for xMailMattx


"What would you do if I left? Would you really care? Tell me what you'd do?" I crossed my arms over my chest. Mello just glared and leaned against the wall. "No. Better yet what if one of those punches were to kill me, then what would you do?"

"What?" he exclaimed in disbelief "Are you just going to complain? What is it that you--"

"I'm leaving you!" I screamed. My shoulders shook with anger and my fists clenched.

Mello's eyes went wide "That's the loudest I've ever heard you."

"That's all you have to say!?" I demanded. "After everything--" my voice hitched and my eyes began to sting horribly.

Mello sighed "That's not what I meant." he stood up from the wall. "What if I begged you to stay? That's what you want right?" I lowered my head to look at my feet, finding it beyond painful to look him in the eyes.

"That's-s not what I--" he cut me off.

"You said you wanted to talk. What are you waiting for? I'm not going anywhere. I'm all ears!" he barked. "What will it take for you to stay?"

I bit my lip "To act like _it._"

"Like what?"

"Like you love me! You _say _you do but that doesn't make up for lack of affection! Especially lately." Mello raised an eyebrow at me and his frown seemed to deepen. My vocal chords began to quiver as I began to poor out the heavier details "I-I use to not mind it when you used me f-for a punching bag or you hurt me during sex. Somehow you'd always find a way to make it up! Now all I get to be is a punching bag to you. Nothing else." a hiccup escaped my throat "Mello... look." he stared listlessly at me as I shuffled to pull my shirt up. "I said look!" his eyes went wide as he really looked at my bruised and battered body "See! I tried to tell you before but you just hit harder." the sobs I had been holding in gushed out.

"I really did that?" Mello closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He re-opened them with another displeased look "I promised myself I'd never be like _him._" he grabbed my shirt roughly with both of his hands and pulled me close to him "It looks like that's another thing I failed at." he snarled. The lump in my throat seemed to double in size, because I knew what would come next. _Maybe he'd pull my hair and throw me to the floor followed by a kick to the stomach or I could be lucky and only get a sharp punch to the chest. _"I know this is who I really am but," his fingers dug against my skin. I closed my eyes getting ready for the blows. He slammed me against the wall. I closed my eyes tighter "I want to change." he paused, I shut my eyes tighter. Mello's arms snaked around my neck "Are you really this afraid of me? And I never noticed!" he yelled.

I shook from the loudness of his voice "Mello," I squeaked.

"Don't leave me." I knew this wasn't a demand, but Mello begging me. "I'll change I swear!" _He could be lying._ "Don't leave me."

"Mello I won't." limply I wrapped him in my arms. "I'm sorry." _How did this turn into me apologizing? _Even though that thought ran through my brain I couldn't help the flood of apologies that followed "I'm so sorry! I'll never--"

"Shut up, you idiot." he spat "You don't have anything to be sorry about." my arms tightened around him. "I'm the on who should be... Who _is_ sorry." he said quickly "And I mean it when I say I won't hit you anymore."

"Th-that's not it Mello!" I pushed him away from me "Didn't you hear me at all!?" I demanded. Mello's eyes went wider and his lips fell open in shock "I-I would never ask something so impossible of you. All I really want is for you to--" my voice dropped. _What? What's happening? _I moved a hand to rub my throat.

"Matt? Are you okay?" Mello placed both of his hands on my shoulders "Matt? What is it?"

I began to panic as it became harder and harder for me to remember how to form words "Ngh, l-love?" I questioned.

He raised an eyebrow "You're going to make me say that?" he put a hand to his forehead "I guess I haven't said it in awhile." Mello reasoned "Mail Jeevas, I love you." he admitted.

The words were familiar enough but, still they made me flush horribly "I love you too, Mihael." I smiled slightly "That's what I really want."

He frowned "You really are an idiot. I can't believe that's all you want, I really can't."

"Mello, I don't..." I paused looking away from him "I know its not your fault you're like _this_ that's why--"

Mello cut me off with a kiss "Do you really think I can't change? That I can't be kind to you?"

"I never said--"

"I can! I'll show you." he kissed me again. His arms tangled around me, pulling me close to his leather clad body. "Matt, the truth is you really deserve better but," he said between kisses "I'd kill anyone who'd try to take you. That's why--"

"Don't say it!" I screamed, on the verge of tears. _I don't want to hear any unnecessary confessions._

"That's why" he continued "I try to make you feel so low. So that you won't try to leave."

I laughed "I guess it sorta worked." I latched my arms back around him.

Mello kissed my neck "I'm s-"

"Shut up. I thought you were going to change not drown me in apologies."

"That's right. I still need to show you." Mello kissed me again, he picked me up and moved down the floor, draping me over the carpet. He hovered over me before kissing me.

Mello dipped his tongue between my lips, exploring the familiar caverns of my mouth. "Mmm." I moaned. Mello tightened his grip around my shoulders and moved his other hand down my hip. He slithered it inside my shirt to grope my chest. "Mello!" I groaned. "W-what are you going to do?"

"I said I was going be kind to you!" he growled in frustration.

"Y-yeah but--"

"You don't need to know the specifics." he moved to my throat, kissing my adam's apple. I moved my arms to the back of his head, digging my fingers into his soft blonde hair. "Hmm."

My fingers moved down to his neck and Mello nipped my neck in response. "Mello." I moaned as he slipped my shirt up, then over my head. A second hadn't passed before his lips descended to mine. Mello ran his cool fingers up and down my torso "Mmm!" he moved down to my chest with a soft trail of kisses. His tongue bushed over my nipple, making a wanton mewl escape my lips. _He's being so gentle. Usually its all scratches and smacks! Its almost like our first time. M-maybe he really-- _"Uh!"

Mello dug his teeth against my nipple. He gave me a sly look as he moved back to my lips for yet another lusty kiss. He got up onto his hands and knees "Take your pants off." how he said it, it was almost like I had a choice! Mello had never once said anything like that to me while we fooled around. So of course I moved my hands down to my pants and slipped them off.

I licked my lips as I worked up the courage to ask-no-demand that he "Take your clothes off too." Mello laughed but complied. With one sleek movement his leather vest was on the floor next to my head. His rosary dangled close to my chin, but I looked passed it to my legs spread wide for Mello. I moved my legs to his hips to caress them. "What about your pants?"

"What about your underwear?" he questioned "Looks like we're both down to our last article of clothing." he said with a smirk. Nodding I slithered my hands to my hips but, Mello stopped me with quick slap at my hands. "I'll do it." I assumed he had meant taking my shorts off, instead he sat up. Mello removed his belt then he untied the corset of his pants. He kicked the offending clothing off his legs, leaving a naked Mello hovering hungrily over me. "Matt." he cooed.

Mello pulled my underwear over my hips and threw them away, not missing a beat before moving down to my groin "Mello," I moaned as his tongue appeared from between his lips in a teasing manner. "it's been a long time." I licked my dry lips.

"Yeah," he mused "I suppose it has." Mello took a long lick up the underside.

I screamed his name and gripped his skull "Meh-Mello! Oh! Y-yeah!" he slowly engulfed my member. I clawed at his hair "Mm-hmm!" Mello bobbed his head, sucking his mouth tight around my cock. "Mello deeper!" I whined, throwing my head back as another cry of ecstasy ripped from my throat once he complied. My tip touched the back of his throat making my eyes roll to the back of my head.

He let me slide from between his lips. "Isn't it about _that _time?" he grabbed my erection for emphasize.

"Almost." I shifted my body so that he would take my hint.

He sighed "Yeah-yeah. I figured you'd want that." Mello lifted his hand. He presented me with two fingers which I eagerly opened my mouth for. The digits darted cruelly to the back of my throat, making me gag "Sorry. Old habits ya' know?" I nodded with a dazed smile. Closing my eyes I began to coat his fingers heavily. Mello let only one low groan loose making my already burning cheeks feel as though they had caught fire.

Mello removed his fingers and brought them down to my entrance. Slowly he poked one through the ring of muscle making me moan. He moved it in and out slowly, a little to slow"C'mon, another finger." I groaned becoming impatient. He entered the second and final finger to my pleasure. He thrusted them deeply and scissored their way inside. "Ahh!" I shrieked, feeling the bliss rack my body. "Mello! Gah-put it in!" I demanded once he found my prostate.

My body tensed slightly as Mello pulled the digits out. I reached my hands for his shoulders to brass myself. The head of his own neglected arousal proded at my hole "Don't worry. I'll be gentle." he assured. I nodded my head slightly disbelieving. Mello muttered something as he entered me but it was hard to concentrate with all the anticipation I felt.

Mello started off at a fast pace, but not violent like what was normal with him. It was... gentle. _How long will it last though? _I couldn't help but question to myself. "Mello! Uh y-you're s-so good!" I gurgled as his thrusts continued to hit my nerves head on. "God! Fuck!" his hands ran up my hips. He took a pause at each bruise on my stomach and leaned down to kiss a sore spot on my chest.

"Sh-hit." he muttered against the nape of my neck "I'm sorry. I can't believe I did this. Still I-I don't want you to leave!" he moved to look me in the eyes, his were wide and-- _Is he really about to cry? _

"Mello!" I cried, pulling him close to my body "I forgive you." I kissed his ear and groaned as he moved against my spot again. "You know why I do?" I asked, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes "It's 'cause you have something of mine. Something I can't possibly live without... " he cocked an eyebrow as if to say "What?" making me smile broadly at his dullness "My heart."

He laughed "You're so stupid. Damn you." he cursed and began to thrust violently.

"Oh shit!" I cried, my head dipped back.

"How can you really be like this?" he growled angrily. He bit my neck, digging his teeth deep into my skin.

"Wouldn't you forgive me?" I choked.

Mello stopped abruptly making me lose my grip around him, I fell to the floor. Mello looked at me confused. I took these few seconds of pause to look over his face, his cheeks were red making his blue eyes even more brilliant. His yellow bangs clung to his face, he bit his lips "Yeah," he breathed "I guess I would." He started gently again, kissing my chin.

"Oh Mello!" I cried moving my hand down to my achy cock. I pumped it with his thrusts "Mmm! You're s-so-- ngh!"

He began to grind at my nerves with long rapid movements "Here," he sighed pulling my hand away from my dick. "let me." he wrapped his hand around me.

I shrieked in bliss as he rubbed his thumb around the head and over my slit. I felt my body twitch in pleasure "Oh god Mello!" I whimpered.

"Does it feel good?" he asked, but not in his usual smug way. "Am I hurting you?"

I shook my head "N-no. You always make me feel amazing Mello. Even if you're a _little _rough." my lips parted for shallow breaths "A-actually... I'm gonna cum!" I bucked onto his hard cock. "Mello! Oh god!" the waves of my orgasm tore through my body mercilessly.

"Mgh!" Mello groaned as he spilled inside of me. "Matt, I love you!" he muttered after one last buck inside.

Mello rested on top of me while he caught his breath "Mello, it felt so good! Mmm." I hugged him feeling rather content. "I love you."

He kissed me "I'm glad that you can forgive so I'm only hoping as time goes you can forget."

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A/N: Yes! Another b-day fanfic done! So Happy Birthday Matty!(xMailMattx) ^^ Review thank you please!?

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Brand New.


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